A Small Update on Academic Encouragement

Diary Entry: October 4, 2024

Professor Pigou continues to be a reliable source of... let’s call it ‘guidance.’

The latest news from the JSD Seminar front is that we are now officially “encouraged” to ask questions at the faculty workshops. You know the ones —those glittering showcases of intellectual theatre where “scholars” present their work. It’s a charming ritual of standardized inquiries and feigned interest, all performed over a spread of profoundly tasteless food. A real feast for the mind and palate.

A few of my colleagues were genuinely thrilled by this invitation. Bless their optimistic hearts. If they had any idea how deeply the hosts yearn for student participation, they’d probably weld their mouths shut as a precautionary measure.

Naturally, I mentioned this exciting new policy to Professor Pigou, just to gauge his enthusiasm. His take was, shall we say, refreshingly direct: “No, I don’t think you should ask questions.”

Well, then. So much for encouragement.

One has to wonder about the underlying philosophy there. Is it a gentle, paternalistic fear that our fragile little minds might buckle under the weight of the presentation? A preemptive strike against the sheer second-hand embarrassment our questions might cause him? Or — and this is my favorite theory — is it a strategic gambit to prevent us from accidentally looking smart and upsetting the delicate academic ecosystem? The mind reels with possibilities.

I’m no mind-reader, of course. But in my not-insignificant time on this spinning rock, having been in a variety of situations in front of all sorts of people, I do believe Professor Pigou has achieved a remarkable first. He might literally be the only person to ever assess my intellectual capacity and conclude, “Nope. Not a flicker of activity in there.” I’ve been called many things, some earned, some... creatively applied. But “stupid”? That’s a new one for the collection. It almost makes you take a step back and consider, in a moment of profound self-reflection: “Could it be... that the problem isn’t me?” A revolutionary thought, I know.